In 2016, six months after my 3rd child was born, I was diagnosed with PND. Voicing this out loud started a big shift in my life.
I did the usual go to the Dr and try to explain things which got met with do you want to try anti depressants and a referral for counselling. That referral never turned into anything more.
Once I’d started to talk about how overwhelmed I was feeling, my anxiety about leaving the house with my children (2 boys 16 months apart and my now tween) I then tried to look for ways I could help myself.
My journey to reclaim my self, something for me has been a long one. I’ve tried lots of different things to help.
I’m not saying to you that meds and the NHS can’t help, they’re also overwhelmed by referrals and all this needs resource. If you’re feeling the same way I’d always advise seeing a health professional.
In October 2019 I suffered my first panic attack and blacked out. I went on meds for the first time in years. Then I tried to help myself and find a calmness I’d been lacking. I became more focussed in trying to help myself and in 2020 once lockdown started to ease I stopped working as a social media accounts manager and switched to freelance writing on subjects I feel passionate about as part of my own self re-evaluation. I decided to write more for me, to support others and to encourage the sharing of our stories.
I joined Mel Well’s Academy and found myself starting to unraveling years of trauma, self destructive behaviours but mostly an understanding that we are all suffering in some way and when we work together, to lift each other, mental blockages can start to crumble to make way for something beautiful.
I started 2020 with a really positive mindset. My word for the year was rest. This year is my time to refocus and start unravelling my creative self.
I pushed myself and met up with a group of beautiful women I’d met online – which was a huge deal for me. I hated travelling alone and can get very anxious and emotional meeting new people. Especially new groups. It was the start of something else breaking down for me. Walls I’d built up over time that I never really had thought I’d been manipulating to fit me rather than figure out why they were there.
These pages are for me to share all of this journey but mostly to say you’re not alone. I hope you enjoy reading them and if you need any help, advice or a hug my DMs are open over on Instagram!
So that’s my story Beautiful, I hope in some way it can help with yours.