Just little old me..

Can you remember what you were like pre baby? Can you remember you changed? Where people perceived you as just being a mummy?

I remember both.Pre Baby I was not so much of a party girl but you would find me down the pub or at a gig after work. I have 600 pictures on Facebook, a lot of these capture the time of my life that was carefree. In fact the day after Mini Mc was born a friend posted the picture below from my 29th birthday – over a year and a half before! The picture may capture a part of me but the one above is more me and how I think I am.

I was adamant that Mini Mc would fit around ME! How wrong I had thought of raising my child.

Post baby I remember someone confining me to being just a mum. I was offended. I am not just a mum….then I lost myself in motherhood with even my husband asking if he could have Chelle – not the Mamma McCann. That really hit home what I had allowed myself to become. A mum, I lost myself, I lost my Chelle.

Now you may or may not have read but I’ve been signed off work for a couple of weeks, due to go back next week if the Dr agrees. I have tried to use this time to try and find my inner Chelle, the mischievous, chirpy Chelle.

It has been difficult and it’s only towards this week that I have started thinking a bit more like I used to. I want to go to gigs still, yes there will be baby dilemmas but I remember someone saying to me how important that Mini Mc doesn’t feel that everything revolves around her, she should see her parents have cuddles (she laughs at this and crawls over to join in), she should see us have fun, she should thrive in our own independence because that is how she will learn her own.

So how do you remember your life before mamma and how your individual self?

I’m just Chelle, may sound simple but I’m me and I’m going to try to embrace that now.

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