I never thought I’d be in one of those couples who are ‘trying’ for a baby. Our daughter was a convenient accident. We took a spare of the moment risk and were lucky to hit bullseye. Despite this happy-go-lucky approach, I suddenly realised I hadn‘t thought through the concept of becoming a mother and spent the first four months with mixed emotions. Some days I was very low, missing my social life because I was tired and couldn’t go out. I was struggling with sickness and nausea which was lasting way beyond the usual 12-16 weeks. While reading my pregnancy diary I kept from my first, I found it wasn’t until 20 weeks pregnant that I started to enter the ‘bloom’ phase but was still nauseous in the evenings (till the day I gave birth). First time round, this was a lot to deal with, however, there were no other complications, nothing more serious than sickness.
With this pregnancy, it was third time lucky to conceive. It’s amazing how quickly the uncertainty of conception can grip you as after only two months I began to ask myself questions you shouldn’t really ask i.e. will we struggle this time? What if we’re too old? Immediately all the stories of other couples conception misfortune enter your thoughts. It didn’t take long to snap out of it, with the help of some very patient friends who had had real troubles conceiving. I realised was going down a bonkers path, I decided to ditch the ovulation wee sticks and ovulation calendar on an iPhone app and just let things happen. Bingo. It’s almost a cliché, anecdotally you hear of plenty of couples who once they ‘relaxed’ a bit about conception it happened. I waited longer to do a pregnancy test too, I wasn’t chancing anything. I was nearly 2 weeks overdue when I did the test.
I am 16 weeks as a write and still being sick. Eating is a struggle, especially in the evenings and I have lost 14lb (I was three stone overweight and being totally honest about this with my midwife who monitors me I should add). Thanks to the diary I am remembering how quickly 9 months pass. I kept the entries fairly regular until Little L turned one, so I have a record of all the trials and tribulations of breastfeeding. It makes you realise that pregnancy and birth are soon overshadowed by caring for your newborn, a period presenting a whole set of new challenges and emotions.
Of course I realise I am not exactly the poster girl for pregnancy. I hate it and it hates me. Not every woman battles the nausea for the full nine months, like I did first time round. One thing is for certain, I most definitely won’t be doing this again if all goes well, so I will be milking it for all its worth.